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Sunday, 4 November 2018

My Girlfriend Has A Bad Behavior But She Calls It Feminism!


My name is Franc. I been following your blog for a while now. My girlfriend is a Nigerian and I been dating  for about a year now.I like her a lot. She is strong,smart and very hardworking. She motivates me quite a lot. She moved to the states about four years ago and she is at the top of her game in her career.

My girl prides herself as a feminist and I do agree with some of her views. However,there are quite a lot of her views that appear quite weird to me. I have in fact made her know that I support the feminist movement but I also feel there are extremists taking advantage of this. She calls her self independent and needs not to submit to a man but she is pretty annoying most times.

My girl tends to be quite strong willed and opinionated and wants me to be the one to apologize first anytime we have a misunderstanding.I fear sometimes that I may not be able to keep up with her behavior. When I try to talk to her about it,she says I am trying to suppress her from having a voice of her own in our relationship. I definitely think her idea of being a feminist it doing her a disservice.

I made it my responsibility to also learn a few things about Nigeria and the culture because I thought I could get married to my girl. From what I read about Nigeria and the culture,I am even more conflicted about my girl. This made me conclude that,it is not the way she was brought up but her own personality disorder that is interfering.

I am a single father and I have a little 5 year old daughter. Her mother is overseas and I have primary custody of my daughter. My girlfriend likes my daughter but I find some of her ways unacceptable. She tries to be overbearing and over zealous with the way I raise my daughter. I appreciate that she may be trying to instill some values into my little girl but I have explained to her that it don’t work like that.

Recently,I had to work. I asked her to babysit my daughter. By the time I got back,she had abused my little girl. She actually hit her because she said she was throwing tantrums. I was furious and I asked her to leave. I have never hit my child before and I definitely will not tolerate anyone doing that.

She has apologized for doing that but I do no know if I should continue to remain in this relationship with her. Despite the fact that I love her and I think she is a wonderful woman,I fear that her stance on being a feminist and over zealousness will make me unhappy in the relationship.

I have asked her to seek help for her behaviors but she refuses. She says I am the one with inferiority complex…We argue a lot,all the time…about so many things. She thinks she is being an independent woman but I think she has a personality disorder. I love this woman like I said…but I feel I should let her go because she is stuck on her ways…do you think I am being unreasonable?

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